Hollywood, CA--
Ben Affleck, whose acting ability can best be described as lacking, recently fought his way out of an acting intervention. Former girlfriends Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Lopez, his old pal Matt Damon and his younger brother, Casey, stormed into Affleck's house Tuesday evening, demanding that he seek professional help.
"I don't have a problem," Affleck said as he climbed out of a bathroom window. "I've played serious roles. I was in Good Will Hunting, Pearl Harbor and Gigli!"
"That's the point, " old friend Matt Damon said. "I threw him a bone on Good Will Hunting. But if you remember, he won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay, not Best Actor. Everything has digressed since then. Samuel L. Jackson carried him in Changing Lanes. The best thing he was ever associated with was Gone Baby, Gone. But in that movie he was behind the camera."
Casey Affleck, a.k.a. the talented Affleck, summarized the experience this way: "I'm embarrassed for him. He called me one time all excited about his new "Bennifer" nickname--you know, when he was dating Jennifer Lopez. I said, 'Hey, Bro. Why don't you spend less time giggling about your cute nickname and more time perfecting your craft.' He hung up on me."
James Hayes
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