CARTHAGE, TN: Al Gore, former vice-president and current hypocrite, has found a new way to cash in on his global warming propaganda: boat salesman.
“As I have detailed in “An Inconvenient Truth,” most of North America will be under water in the next few years, so what better way to help my fellow Americans than to put them in one of my custom-made Gorestream boats,” Gore said from his palatial, carbon-neutral office in his “hometown” of Carthage.
The Gorestream boat, which is powered by wind, the sun and Democratic ideals, starts at $35,000 but can run as high as $48,000 for the “Obama Edition,” which is fully stocked with change, hope and a better tomorrow.
But the local community is skeptical. Brenda Conrad, whose hair salon is just a few blocks from Gore’s new dealership, has her reservations. “I mean really. I don’t think he’s sold a single boat. Every time I drive by he’s screaming at cars about how Bush stole the election. Who’d want to buy a boat from an ex-vice-president anyway?”
Gore refuses to divulge a complete sales total, stating that the Republicans will just use the information to “further advance their oil-lovin’ agenda.” When asked if his boat venture was simply an act of desperation on the part of a bitter political has-been, Gore replied, “Ridiculous. But I do desperately want you to buy a 2008 Gorestream ‘Obama Edition’ boat.”
- James Hayes
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